M i z z [ b l a c k o u t ]

…come things you don’t want. Simply put. Too bad things aren’t like what they used to be. When nothing mattered but hanging out with your friends on the jungle gym. When boys were icky and had cooties. They still do in my opinion. Back when you wished for the police to come get the bad guys and you could be safe again. Now there’s much more to “good” and “bad” people… there are different levels of bad and good.
*sigh*
When can I be surrounded by happiness and laughter?
Not pain and fear.
Oh well.
Life.
Have to deal with it… =/

-Mizz[blackout]

My mom is sad without me. My brothers are making it worse. Whenever I was still there she always had me. My brothers would up and leave somewhere and she didn’t mind it because I was there to keep her company. But now that I’m away from her, she’s all alone. I’m mad at my brothers right now. They just up and leave. I hate it. I hate it. I HATE IT! Stop making my mommy cry! I can’t be there for her and I need them to help fill the emptiness. UGH. My head is hurting and I don’t want to cry about this.

-Mizz[blackout]

Ok kiddos! (btw: that’s my new phrase, “kiddos”. I don’t know why but it just is. Ha!) Well I have been gone for some time. Let’s see if I can summarize what has happened since Aug 19.

Uhm, moved to SFASU (Stephen F. Austin State University) at the end of August, I realized that I know quite a few people here from Houston (that I went to elementary, middle and high school with…) and I have a pretty cool roommate, etc.
Uhm, I thought I would give up my stalking habits but I could not resist when it came to my baby daddies (I don’t have baby daddies, but I’m just calling them that because, well I’m weird.)
ANYWAYS. I went a club for the first ever in my life. I hated it. There’s not enough cute boys to go around, ugly boys dance on you, and I don’t like booty hoppers. That’s not cool in my book. I would rather go to the club with a guy who I’m dating because I don’t want no person dancing all up on me for a few songs and then move on to the next chick right next me. UGH!

Oh! I am in love with financial aid money! I’m broke when it comes to cash, but I’m loaded when it comes to financial aid. CHA-CHING! Lol Yet, I am going to put all of that in my savings account because ain’t no way that I’m spending that junk. Although, I already have bought a printer and a sweater thru financial aid. ;)

OK! The best of it all. So for Labor Day weekend, my brother and his…”FRIEND” *wink wink* came down to bring some stuff that I left at home that my mom was going to mail to me. So he and I decided that we should surprise my mom by bringing me back to Houston. (Keep in mind, I had been gone for a week!) Ok. So Saturday afternoon, it went down like this:

Mizz[blackout]’s brother: *opens sliding door*
Mizz[blackout]’s mom: *startled by my brother walking in the door*
Mz[blkout]’s bro: Hey mom, Viv wanted me to give you something. *hands her my SFA sweatshirt* She wanted me to give you something else. *walks back outside to where I’m waiting in the car*
Me: *walk in the door* She wanted me to give you this. *extends arms to hug my mommy.*
Mz[blkout]’s mom: AH! *covers face with her hands*

I’m such a sweet daughter. I feel bad though. She said that she misses, etc. She felt so alone in the house without me because I was her little sidekick. Ugh. I hate having to leave her there by herself but I know this is the best education out here for me. I love this school soooooo much and I know that in the end she won’t regret letting me come out here. :)

Ok this is a very long blog (that’s what she said…) and I have other things to attend to. Like CLASS! Lol. Uhm, I love you all. I might post another life story of my time here at SFA later tonight or tomorrow. But I promise I shall update mucho mas (that’s spanish for “much more”)!

-Mizz[blackout]